Who are you? Are you the person that you allow the world to see? Or do you hide behind a mask of who you think the world wants? If you do hide, why isn’t being you good enough?
I think many of us go through life always trying to please everyone else. We become what others say we should be. But what about us? What about what we want for ourselves? Do we value that person who is ourselves so little that we are willing to sacrifice them for the sake of others wishes and needs? And to what cost to our own being are we doing that?
Do you always find yourself a chameleon in your crowd? Blending in with whoever you are around at that moment? Ever wondered to yourself why? I have wondered that very thing. Why I try to blend into the world, when I obviously evolved to stick out! I was never supposed to be someone who just went along with the program of life. I am supposed to forge a new life for myself, showing others the way how to do it for themselves.
My times where I am most unhappy is when I try to be something for someone else and don’t stay true to who I am. I question myself the most at these times, and I try to learn from my mistakes. Still occasionally I fall like everyone else does into the trap of being a people pleaser. I don’t like to create waves or cause grief. I like to make everything calm in my surroundings. Sometimes that means compromising myself to make that happen. How sad is that?
I like who I am. I am proud of the woman I see in the mirror each day. My goal to leave this world a better place is a lofty one and one that I am happy with. I never intentionally do harm or have malice of heart or spirt. So what else should I expect from me I wonder?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Turn Left
Depending on what stage we are in our lives, we can sometimes feel like we ought to know more about who we are or how to live. We may even berate ourselves for making the same mistakes, or for just not “getting it,” whatever “it” may be. We wonder how our lives would be now, if only we had “known better.” During moments like these, it is important to remember that none of us are born with instruction manuals and that learning lessons is a lifelong journey.
Inherent to our being born is that we are here to observe, learn, and grow. Accompanying this is a built-in guarantee that there will be mistakes and misadventures along the way. And while it is only natural that we may sometimes become overwhelmed, especially when the lessons keep coming, it is important to remember that learning to understand yourself and your world is an ongoing and active process where the journey is more important than the destination. Every lesson is intended so you can become more of who you are. And as you grow through this self-discovery, you begin to create your own instruction manual. The “how’s” and “why’s” are yours to discover, and part of the beauty of being alive is that these rules are always changing.
If you feel that you would like to explore what your personal instruction manual may already say, then try writing down in order some of the significant events that have happened to you. It’s also important to take note of what you learned from each one. When you are done, you may be surprised to discover how much you are always growing, and that every lesson learned always informs the next. That being said, there is never any need to be hard on yourself or think that you should have it all figured out. We always know as much as we’re meant to know at that moment, and growing into our fullness is a process that unfolds in divine timing. You and your life are beautiful works in progress. Discover yourself and embrace your life’s lessons, and your instruction manual will create itself.
Inherent to our being born is that we are here to observe, learn, and grow. Accompanying this is a built-in guarantee that there will be mistakes and misadventures along the way. And while it is only natural that we may sometimes become overwhelmed, especially when the lessons keep coming, it is important to remember that learning to understand yourself and your world is an ongoing and active process where the journey is more important than the destination. Every lesson is intended so you can become more of who you are. And as you grow through this self-discovery, you begin to create your own instruction manual. The “how’s” and “why’s” are yours to discover, and part of the beauty of being alive is that these rules are always changing.
If you feel that you would like to explore what your personal instruction manual may already say, then try writing down in order some of the significant events that have happened to you. It’s also important to take note of what you learned from each one. When you are done, you may be surprised to discover how much you are always growing, and that every lesson learned always informs the next. That being said, there is never any need to be hard on yourself or think that you should have it all figured out. We always know as much as we’re meant to know at that moment, and growing into our fullness is a process that unfolds in divine timing. You and your life are beautiful works in progress. Discover yourself and embrace your life’s lessons, and your instruction manual will create itself.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Have A Nice Day!
I have read a great deal about positive thinking and how it can help aid in success and happiness. People who have motivational sayings, pictures of goals that can be seen often and repeatedly have more of a statistical chance to make those goals happen. That is a fact according to the studies I have read.
I am unsure if the reason for this is that you are constantly reminded to keep your “eye on the ball” so to speak, or if it changes your thinking in ways that make you behave in a more successful manner.
Years ago I read an interesting study about successful people. Some huge percentage of those people wrote out a list of goals that they wanted to achieve in high school, and a life plan on how to attain those goals. An even higher percentage of those who made lists, gave themselves timelines in order to achieve each step towards their goal.
Many books have been written about this subject. Seeing yourself successful and happy being the theme. Books like “The Secret” and “7 habits of highly effective people”.
I have mentioned that as a child I attended Silva Mind Control seminars with my mother which focuses on the same type of positive thinking equals positive results philosophy. Dare I say it, but part of the basis of Scientology (those whackjobs) is overcoming negative thinking and visualizing your goals as being achieved.
My mother who was in sales for basically her whole career used to visualise herself making the sale. When she did this, and she focused on it, she noticed a dramatic increase in her sales. Once she was very frustrated with her management in one store, so she decided to visualize herself being top salesperson to show that manager he was wrong. She achieved her goal and surpassed her targets for the entire quarter in that month.
The problem with this is that it takes discipline and focus. Most people do it for a while and then forget. That is why tangible reminders like pictures on your refrigerator door, desktop on your computer, and notes to yourself help keep you motivated and on track.
Positive thinking really has no drawback. It costs nothing to do, there is no side effect or downside. Maybe its worth thinking about to make the changes in your life that you wish to make? Worst thing that could happen with all of that positive energy is that you could in fact “Have a nice day”!
I am unsure if the reason for this is that you are constantly reminded to keep your “eye on the ball” so to speak, or if it changes your thinking in ways that make you behave in a more successful manner.
Years ago I read an interesting study about successful people. Some huge percentage of those people wrote out a list of goals that they wanted to achieve in high school, and a life plan on how to attain those goals. An even higher percentage of those who made lists, gave themselves timelines in order to achieve each step towards their goal.
Many books have been written about this subject. Seeing yourself successful and happy being the theme. Books like “The Secret” and “7 habits of highly effective people”.
I have mentioned that as a child I attended Silva Mind Control seminars with my mother which focuses on the same type of positive thinking equals positive results philosophy. Dare I say it, but part of the basis of Scientology (those whackjobs) is overcoming negative thinking and visualizing your goals as being achieved.
My mother who was in sales for basically her whole career used to visualise herself making the sale. When she did this, and she focused on it, she noticed a dramatic increase in her sales. Once she was very frustrated with her management in one store, so she decided to visualize herself being top salesperson to show that manager he was wrong. She achieved her goal and surpassed her targets for the entire quarter in that month.
The problem with this is that it takes discipline and focus. Most people do it for a while and then forget. That is why tangible reminders like pictures on your refrigerator door, desktop on your computer, and notes to yourself help keep you motivated and on track.
Positive thinking really has no drawback. It costs nothing to do, there is no side effect or downside. Maybe its worth thinking about to make the changes in your life that you wish to make? Worst thing that could happen with all of that positive energy is that you could in fact “Have a nice day”!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Forgiveness Is Not Forgetting
I have been in situations where people have hurt me to the core of my being. I mean, really truly hurt me. Yet, they have later come to me and have apologized for their tresspasses towards me and asked for my forgiveness. I have forgiven them both for them and for me. I haven’t seen the point in hanging on to the anger and the bitterness of the situation.
There have been times I have chosen although to forgive this person, at the same time, I have not chosen to continue with them in my life. That was a difficult thing. It leaves them feeling as though they haven’t been truly forgiven. They have. I just don’t need to put myself into that situation again to be hurt. I have realised I don’t NEED that person in my life and what they brought to my life wasn’t significant enough to warrant me continuing to have any kind of contact or relationship. It was unhealthy.
I have also been in the position of looking at the entire situation, the person as a whole and being able to really see the hurt for what it was. I was able to forgive that person, not forget what they have done, but love them and move on with them as a part of my life. It wasn’t an easy thing to do by any means. Trust had to be re-established. They as a person had to be worth risking putting myself out there for again. What they brought to my life had to be worth it. The good had to outweigh the bad. I had to decide in my mind and heart and soul if this was something that would be isolated, or something that would be habit from them.
Only once in my life have I been someone who has really needed forgiveness for my own transgressions. I made mistakes because I was not trying to hurt anyone but actually I was trying to inflict the most minimal of damage to all parties. Trying to take the biggest hit to myself. It was an arrogant thing to do looking back on it, and in some ways a weak thing. But of course hindsight is always 20/20. I am now the one seeking forgiveness. It is an uncomfortable and an unusual place for me to be. A very humbling place for my soul.
Being on this side of the fence for a change has taught me about patience. I feel now what all of the people have felt when they have wanted my forgiveness in the past. That anxious feeling. That need for the other person to let it go and say it will all be ok. My own need to fix it and make it better due to my guilt, and self loathing.
Being on both ends in my life I see now that it is a process. Not an easy one at that for either party. I have to have faith that forgiveness will come from my heart and from those I seek forgiveness from. One step at a time. One day at a time. At least there will be no fear of anyone forgetting this important life lesson. I am grateful for it. It will make me stronger and better in the end.
There have been times I have chosen although to forgive this person, at the same time, I have not chosen to continue with them in my life. That was a difficult thing. It leaves them feeling as though they haven’t been truly forgiven. They have. I just don’t need to put myself into that situation again to be hurt. I have realised I don’t NEED that person in my life and what they brought to my life wasn’t significant enough to warrant me continuing to have any kind of contact or relationship. It was unhealthy.
I have also been in the position of looking at the entire situation, the person as a whole and being able to really see the hurt for what it was. I was able to forgive that person, not forget what they have done, but love them and move on with them as a part of my life. It wasn’t an easy thing to do by any means. Trust had to be re-established. They as a person had to be worth risking putting myself out there for again. What they brought to my life had to be worth it. The good had to outweigh the bad. I had to decide in my mind and heart and soul if this was something that would be isolated, or something that would be habit from them.
Only once in my life have I been someone who has really needed forgiveness for my own transgressions. I made mistakes because I was not trying to hurt anyone but actually I was trying to inflict the most minimal of damage to all parties. Trying to take the biggest hit to myself. It was an arrogant thing to do looking back on it, and in some ways a weak thing. But of course hindsight is always 20/20. I am now the one seeking forgiveness. It is an uncomfortable and an unusual place for me to be. A very humbling place for my soul.
Being on this side of the fence for a change has taught me about patience. I feel now what all of the people have felt when they have wanted my forgiveness in the past. That anxious feeling. That need for the other person to let it go and say it will all be ok. My own need to fix it and make it better due to my guilt, and self loathing.
Being on both ends in my life I see now that it is a process. Not an easy one at that for either party. I have to have faith that forgiveness will come from my heart and from those I seek forgiveness from. One step at a time. One day at a time. At least there will be no fear of anyone forgetting this important life lesson. I am grateful for it. It will make me stronger and better in the end.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Alien Among Us
Have you ever felt truly loved just for being you, you as you are in your entirety, the bad habits, the good habits, the falls and the rises?
Think of an alien placed in the middle of a busy street. People rushing everywhere and he is trying to get their attention. He is trying to find directions but no one understands what he is trying to saying or what he is all about. No one understands that his skin is green or that he has three eyes.
It gets to the point that the alien all but gives up on the idea of finding someone that will be able to understand him. He meets people on and off that give him the impression at first of understanding only to find that they wanted his shoes, his warm jacket or his soul.
Slowly but certainly the alien starts to believe that he was cursed to a planet of hollow humans. Time and time again the people came to him and each time he would pray to the universal Gods that this time, this time, the person would not turn into a hollow shell. It seemed that the Gods were never listening to his pleas, his soul was tired and weary, his heart all but shattered from exhaustion.
Then one day, as he stood there in the middle of that busy street, a billboard sign flashes “BLOG BLOG BLOG: The safer alternative, a place where you can be yourself and no one can touch you”. He jumped at the idea, started a blog and got to writing, he poured his heart and soul into the words he put to electronic paper. No one had to understand him, at least in the blog world he could tell the ether what he was all about and the ether couldn’t touch him.
As days turned to months he soon realised that the billboard was the first true advertisement he’d ever seen. People were finding his words that truly understood what he was saying. For the first time in his life he was not a fully fledged alien, perhaps it was the other people that were the aliens and not him all along. Suddenly there are actual real people who take the time to try and understand him, people who accept his green skin and aren’t bothered by all his eyeballs staring back at them.
At first he can’t understand what is happening to him, he wants to believe but then is so scared. What if it is a practical joke by the Gods? What if he had died and gone back to Mars? What if it was all just a dream as he lay in the street asleep?
These people who proved to him that he was also human and not the alien he had always felt to be didn’t disappear over night. They didn’t turn into hollow shells nor did they run away as the gremlins came out of the closet. Slowly as each day passed the once alien now human began to adjust, to flex his muscles and to feel fully. His ripped soul started to heal and the walls surrounding both soul and heart started to fall, his shattered heart was all but whole once more.
The relief the alien feels is insurmountable after travelling for decades to find such friendship, a friendship he had only ever dreamt of, longed for, prayed for. The night sky turned to a brilliant sunny day, the busy street began to quieten, filling up with true and genuine people. Life started to feel as though the Gods had only been preparing him for what was to come for had he never known true hollow shelled humans how would he have ever been able to tell the difference between them and the genuine ones?
Yes the Gods had really blessed him for he realised he was in fact a human in an alien world.
He was human and he was loved anyway.
Think of an alien placed in the middle of a busy street. People rushing everywhere and he is trying to get their attention. He is trying to find directions but no one understands what he is trying to saying or what he is all about. No one understands that his skin is green or that he has three eyes.
It gets to the point that the alien all but gives up on the idea of finding someone that will be able to understand him. He meets people on and off that give him the impression at first of understanding only to find that they wanted his shoes, his warm jacket or his soul.
Slowly but certainly the alien starts to believe that he was cursed to a planet of hollow humans. Time and time again the people came to him and each time he would pray to the universal Gods that this time, this time, the person would not turn into a hollow shell. It seemed that the Gods were never listening to his pleas, his soul was tired and weary, his heart all but shattered from exhaustion.
Then one day, as he stood there in the middle of that busy street, a billboard sign flashes “BLOG BLOG BLOG: The safer alternative, a place where you can be yourself and no one can touch you”. He jumped at the idea, started a blog and got to writing, he poured his heart and soul into the words he put to electronic paper. No one had to understand him, at least in the blog world he could tell the ether what he was all about and the ether couldn’t touch him.
As days turned to months he soon realised that the billboard was the first true advertisement he’d ever seen. People were finding his words that truly understood what he was saying. For the first time in his life he was not a fully fledged alien, perhaps it was the other people that were the aliens and not him all along. Suddenly there are actual real people who take the time to try and understand him, people who accept his green skin and aren’t bothered by all his eyeballs staring back at them.
At first he can’t understand what is happening to him, he wants to believe but then is so scared. What if it is a practical joke by the Gods? What if he had died and gone back to Mars? What if it was all just a dream as he lay in the street asleep?
These people who proved to him that he was also human and not the alien he had always felt to be didn’t disappear over night. They didn’t turn into hollow shells nor did they run away as the gremlins came out of the closet. Slowly as each day passed the once alien now human began to adjust, to flex his muscles and to feel fully. His ripped soul started to heal and the walls surrounding both soul and heart started to fall, his shattered heart was all but whole once more.
The relief the alien feels is insurmountable after travelling for decades to find such friendship, a friendship he had only ever dreamt of, longed for, prayed for. The night sky turned to a brilliant sunny day, the busy street began to quieten, filling up with true and genuine people. Life started to feel as though the Gods had only been preparing him for what was to come for had he never known true hollow shelled humans how would he have ever been able to tell the difference between them and the genuine ones?
Yes the Gods had really blessed him for he realised he was in fact a human in an alien world.
He was human and he was loved anyway.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Humpty Dumpty
Its a strange quest this lifetime of mine, one filled with irony and life lessons till the brim. Each corner I turn lies wait a pouncing tiger just waiting to teach me a new move turning me into mma fighter on steroids before my very eyes. Oh how I wish I could be that some days and know all the moves, have the strength of soul to perfect them to the “T”.
Some days that pass by I find myself the kung fu master only to wake up the next day and find I’ve forgotten the moves. The irony of being is found in so many ways.
I love unconditionally, I love fully but I when another person tries to love me to the same level I get scared, nervous and on edge as if they are the tiger not I.
I give unconditionally; I give my last cent to the person who needs it and sometimes to the person who doesn’t. I do it without them knowing and sometimes with them aware, either way I give with out thinking. If someone else tries to give to me I refuse it or worse yet I tell them that I can’t accept their gift for they shouldn’t and can’t spend on me even if it is in love.
I support others whole heartedly, I cheer leader them and throw the pom poms around with much fan fair, I help them through difficult times, offer both my shoulders to cry on and help them in any way I can. If someone tries to help me, support me, I get nervous, scared, stubborn and well I tell them I can do it alone.
I can listen to others for hours about their troubles, their life and their highs, it doesn’t bother me, I actually prefer it. I don’t find it easy to talk about me, my problems, my life or my highs. They just happen and most often than not I “process” them first before I talk about any of them at all.
I know why each irony is there, black and white if you prefer. Its so clear as day what the night is that lies beneath each word. I don’t obsess but I do know and understand. Each day that passes me by I struggle with those four ironies of which I am sure there are many more, a constant inner fight to do away with the taught reactions, the learned behaviours and habits.
I try but some days are harder than others, some moments in time I take that step backwards in order to take the two forwards. I hurt people when I do and that makes the one step backwards turn into 10, it hurts the deepest parts of me when I hurt others, it breaks off a chunk of my heart and throws it in the fire of torment. I hate doing that and knowing that I do by the actions I carry out turns the irony of being me into a glorified mess of catastrophic proportions.
Sometimes the lessons we need to learn in life can make us feel like over used punch bags, sometimes though they are just teaching us how to put the shards back together again.
Some days that pass by I find myself the kung fu master only to wake up the next day and find I’ve forgotten the moves. The irony of being is found in so many ways.
I love unconditionally, I love fully but I when another person tries to love me to the same level I get scared, nervous and on edge as if they are the tiger not I.
I give unconditionally; I give my last cent to the person who needs it and sometimes to the person who doesn’t. I do it without them knowing and sometimes with them aware, either way I give with out thinking. If someone else tries to give to me I refuse it or worse yet I tell them that I can’t accept their gift for they shouldn’t and can’t spend on me even if it is in love.
I support others whole heartedly, I cheer leader them and throw the pom poms around with much fan fair, I help them through difficult times, offer both my shoulders to cry on and help them in any way I can. If someone tries to help me, support me, I get nervous, scared, stubborn and well I tell them I can do it alone.
I can listen to others for hours about their troubles, their life and their highs, it doesn’t bother me, I actually prefer it. I don’t find it easy to talk about me, my problems, my life or my highs. They just happen and most often than not I “process” them first before I talk about any of them at all.
I know why each irony is there, black and white if you prefer. Its so clear as day what the night is that lies beneath each word. I don’t obsess but I do know and understand. Each day that passes me by I struggle with those four ironies of which I am sure there are many more, a constant inner fight to do away with the taught reactions, the learned behaviours and habits.
I try but some days are harder than others, some moments in time I take that step backwards in order to take the two forwards. I hurt people when I do and that makes the one step backwards turn into 10, it hurts the deepest parts of me when I hurt others, it breaks off a chunk of my heart and throws it in the fire of torment. I hate doing that and knowing that I do by the actions I carry out turns the irony of being me into a glorified mess of catastrophic proportions.
Sometimes the lessons we need to learn in life can make us feel like over used punch bags, sometimes though they are just teaching us how to put the shards back together again.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Gift Wrapped
I woke up this morning with this song playing in my head, the words danced on my lips and I sang it quietly while the rest of the world slumbered. For me it’s a song of hope, of not losing sight of your dreams and going with the flow that is the river of life.
Sometimes things come to try us, so much so that we focus so much on the reality of the now that we forget our inner longings, our hopes, our dreams… sometimes even who we truly are. Perhaps it is much like putting parts of us into a little box for safe keeping. The problem is sometimes we forget the box altogether only remembering it’s existence once it is so covered and bogged down by others that it takes years to recover it.
Ironically the things we put in the boxes within our mind are most often the very things that will help us get through…
Sometimes things come to try us, so much so that we focus so much on the reality of the now that we forget our inner longings, our hopes, our dreams… sometimes even who we truly are. Perhaps it is much like putting parts of us into a little box for safe keeping. The problem is sometimes we forget the box altogether only remembering it’s existence once it is so covered and bogged down by others that it takes years to recover it.
Ironically the things we put in the boxes within our mind are most often the very things that will help us get through…
Friday, June 6, 2008
Air For Healing
One day we wake up to find ourselves in the water without a lifeboat or buoy, nothing to help us float, we’re stuck with no way towards the land.
We slowly start treading the water, at first its easy, our legs keep us going, our arms move slowly in the water. We stay a float, our heads are in the fresh air and things seem bearable.
Slowly we start to tire, our mental muscles start taking strain, our proverbial legs become exhausted and our arms numb. Our bodies start to sink as if invisible hands have grabbed onto our ankles and pulling us under. The deeper we are pulled the colder it gets, our spirits become dampened.
At first we fight, we summon up the last shred of energy to kick back towards the surface, we struggle with all our might against the invisible hands. When we break the surface we gasp for air, pulling as much into our lungs as we call, we cough the water we swallowed out. We continue to try with all our might to keep our heads in the fresh air.
As our mental muscles tire, as we fight to stay above water we start to feel something brush against our legs on and off. Thoughts of “What was that??? Was it seaweed??? Was it a fish??? eel??? SHARK???” run through our minds only to realise that it was just another change in the current we find ourselves in. We feel things in a heightened state, our senses feel things that are perceived but not necessarily real.
If our minds are too tired and our senses too heightened we run the risk of never realising that it wasn’t a shark or even a fish, we believe, see, feel, perceive it to be full blown reality. The risk of being in this state is that it pulls our focus off keeping our heads above the water, while fighting off the sharks and creatures brushing against our legs we don’t realise how far we have sunk into the darkness. The deeper we sink the harder it is to get ourselves back towards the surface.
No matter how far down we go in the ocean of life we always have the “will” to survive, it is a natural instinct that each one of us carries deep inside of ourselves. It lies there, sometimes almost dormant in its nature, but always present. The “will” is a decision that each one of us makes every day, if we realise we have sunk deeper we need to use our legs, our arms, our everything to push ourselves back up towards the surface. Our arms, our legs, they are our friends, our hobbies, our passions… sometimes our mental muscles get so numb that we forget that they are there waiting and willing. Our helping hands.
Every single one of us, both you and I, carry faith, belief and hope. These are human characteristic’s that we all have, it doesn’t matter whether you are an Atheist, Christian, Spiritualist or Buddhist. It doesn’t matter what or who you are, where you are from, young or old, poor or rich, we all have them.
Faith that everything will work out, that our feet will touch solid ground one day soon
Belief that it all happens for a reason, that the world is just as it is and that everything is possible, belief in yourself, belief in hope, belief that the solid ground is closer than we think.
Hope that things will get better and that we can do what we need to do, that we will one day reach land once more after being in the water for so long
No matter what you go through in life or how deep you find yourself in the water always remember your legs, your arms and those three things. Put those words on post-it notes if you have to, make sure they’re in your face and say them out loud. All these things are air, they are like a oxygen mask that’ll help you breathe and float towards the top.
If all else fails just stop what you are doing, take a deep breath and float… before you know it you will have reached the surface and will feel the air hitting your lungs once again.
Breathe… Faith… Hope… Belief…
Don’t give up for you’re a better swimmer than you think…
We slowly start treading the water, at first its easy, our legs keep us going, our arms move slowly in the water. We stay a float, our heads are in the fresh air and things seem bearable.
Slowly we start to tire, our mental muscles start taking strain, our proverbial legs become exhausted and our arms numb. Our bodies start to sink as if invisible hands have grabbed onto our ankles and pulling us under. The deeper we are pulled the colder it gets, our spirits become dampened.
At first we fight, we summon up the last shred of energy to kick back towards the surface, we struggle with all our might against the invisible hands. When we break the surface we gasp for air, pulling as much into our lungs as we call, we cough the water we swallowed out. We continue to try with all our might to keep our heads in the fresh air.
As our mental muscles tire, as we fight to stay above water we start to feel something brush against our legs on and off. Thoughts of “What was that??? Was it seaweed??? Was it a fish??? eel??? SHARK???” run through our minds only to realise that it was just another change in the current we find ourselves in. We feel things in a heightened state, our senses feel things that are perceived but not necessarily real.
If our minds are too tired and our senses too heightened we run the risk of never realising that it wasn’t a shark or even a fish, we believe, see, feel, perceive it to be full blown reality. The risk of being in this state is that it pulls our focus off keeping our heads above the water, while fighting off the sharks and creatures brushing against our legs we don’t realise how far we have sunk into the darkness. The deeper we sink the harder it is to get ourselves back towards the surface.
No matter how far down we go in the ocean of life we always have the “will” to survive, it is a natural instinct that each one of us carries deep inside of ourselves. It lies there, sometimes almost dormant in its nature, but always present. The “will” is a decision that each one of us makes every day, if we realise we have sunk deeper we need to use our legs, our arms, our everything to push ourselves back up towards the surface. Our arms, our legs, they are our friends, our hobbies, our passions… sometimes our mental muscles get so numb that we forget that they are there waiting and willing. Our helping hands.
Every single one of us, both you and I, carry faith, belief and hope. These are human characteristic’s that we all have, it doesn’t matter whether you are an Atheist, Christian, Spiritualist or Buddhist. It doesn’t matter what or who you are, where you are from, young or old, poor or rich, we all have them.
Faith that everything will work out, that our feet will touch solid ground one day soon
Belief that it all happens for a reason, that the world is just as it is and that everything is possible, belief in yourself, belief in hope, belief that the solid ground is closer than we think.
Hope that things will get better and that we can do what we need to do, that we will one day reach land once more after being in the water for so long
No matter what you go through in life or how deep you find yourself in the water always remember your legs, your arms and those three things. Put those words on post-it notes if you have to, make sure they’re in your face and say them out loud. All these things are air, they are like a oxygen mask that’ll help you breathe and float towards the top.
If all else fails just stop what you are doing, take a deep breath and float… before you know it you will have reached the surface and will feel the air hitting your lungs once again.
Breathe… Faith… Hope… Belief…
Don’t give up for you’re a better swimmer than you think…
Thursday, June 5, 2008
And Counting Was Easy
In the blink of an eye it can all change, just one step out that door and the world can turn to black, just one step. Leave a lit room, step over the threshold of the door into the night and all you will see is pure black darkness.
Once you step over that threshold into the darkness you get three choices
You gallantly step forward braving the darkness not knowing in which direction you are going, what obstacles stand before you or whether anything can bash you in the head
You step vigilantly into the dark putting one foot in front of the other with your hands out feeling your way forward in order to make sure you aren’t going to connect with any obstacles.
You cross over the threshold, stand still, take a deep breath and allow the darkness to envelope you. As you stand on the spot, your eyes begin to adjust to the darkness, slowly you are able to see everything around you clearly, all obstacles, paths and possible directions.
Are any of these three choices the right one or is it reliant on our individual personalities?
At different stages in my own life I have used each of these three choices.
Option 1:
At times option one worked best for me, I had little time to sit and think about my options, I didn’t have time to come up with a strategy plan or wait for the darkness to clear. I was thrown in the deep end and tried to swim the best I could. Along the way I bumped into many an obstacle, I bashed my head more times I can say but ultimately it was the best way forward for me at that time in my life. I was on the go constantly, there was no time to rest. Survival.
Option 2:
When I finished school I decided to study my second love, computers, got a great job at a hi-tech company where I was the only woman working amongst males in a technology field. I walked through that door and put my hands out, it was a whole new universe for me and I didn’t have time to stand back and wait for my eyes to adjust. I had to feel as I went and hope that I would feel the obstacles before they hit me. At first I progressed slowly and as my eyes adjusted I sped up, I moved forwards and the light came.
Option 3:
This year has been one that has truly rocked my world, turned it upside down and then back again. It has been constant change and then not enough change, spiritual growth, lost friendships and incredible new ones, heartache, heart wonders and turmoil both in outer life and inner being. I walked into this year and stood still, I could do no other. I stood, took a deep breath and allowed the darkness to envelope me in its arms. As time passed things started to become more clear, I saw the different paths lying before me, the dream plants of new and old, obstacles and things to avoid, what to jump over and what to move. I saw my path.
Was the option I chose for each circumstance wrong or was it the right one for me at that particular time in my life?
Perhaps there is never a right way to do things.
I can turn around to you right this minute and say STOP THAT BUS RIGHT THERE but will I be right if I hadn’t taken the time to know you, to understand your process or what you are going through? What would give me the right to judge your process and tell you that you are on the right track if I hadn’t taken the time?
We each own our own process for which you have the choice to share with another to gain advice or just an ear. That process is yours and you decide whether the advice given fits with you or whether it is wrong. That decision is always yours, no one else’s. The advice might be right, it may be wrong, no one ever knows for sure, all it is in reality is a flashlight in the dark to help you on your way.
Those three options are eternal and interchangeable. If you think you are charging off into the night and should rather stop in your tracks and stand still for a moment to adjust to the new light then stop in your tracks. Stand for a moment and take a deep breath, breathe, wait, breathe, till you you can see more clearly.
Once you step over that threshold into the darkness you get three choices
You gallantly step forward braving the darkness not knowing in which direction you are going, what obstacles stand before you or whether anything can bash you in the head
You step vigilantly into the dark putting one foot in front of the other with your hands out feeling your way forward in order to make sure you aren’t going to connect with any obstacles.
You cross over the threshold, stand still, take a deep breath and allow the darkness to envelope you. As you stand on the spot, your eyes begin to adjust to the darkness, slowly you are able to see everything around you clearly, all obstacles, paths and possible directions.
Are any of these three choices the right one or is it reliant on our individual personalities?
At different stages in my own life I have used each of these three choices.
Option 1:
At times option one worked best for me, I had little time to sit and think about my options, I didn’t have time to come up with a strategy plan or wait for the darkness to clear. I was thrown in the deep end and tried to swim the best I could. Along the way I bumped into many an obstacle, I bashed my head more times I can say but ultimately it was the best way forward for me at that time in my life. I was on the go constantly, there was no time to rest. Survival.
Option 2:
When I finished school I decided to study my second love, computers, got a great job at a hi-tech company where I was the only woman working amongst males in a technology field. I walked through that door and put my hands out, it was a whole new universe for me and I didn’t have time to stand back and wait for my eyes to adjust. I had to feel as I went and hope that I would feel the obstacles before they hit me. At first I progressed slowly and as my eyes adjusted I sped up, I moved forwards and the light came.
Option 3:
This year has been one that has truly rocked my world, turned it upside down and then back again. It has been constant change and then not enough change, spiritual growth, lost friendships and incredible new ones, heartache, heart wonders and turmoil both in outer life and inner being. I walked into this year and stood still, I could do no other. I stood, took a deep breath and allowed the darkness to envelope me in its arms. As time passed things started to become more clear, I saw the different paths lying before me, the dream plants of new and old, obstacles and things to avoid, what to jump over and what to move. I saw my path.
Was the option I chose for each circumstance wrong or was it the right one for me at that particular time in my life?
Perhaps there is never a right way to do things.
I can turn around to you right this minute and say STOP THAT BUS RIGHT THERE but will I be right if I hadn’t taken the time to know you, to understand your process or what you are going through? What would give me the right to judge your process and tell you that you are on the right track if I hadn’t taken the time?
We each own our own process for which you have the choice to share with another to gain advice or just an ear. That process is yours and you decide whether the advice given fits with you or whether it is wrong. That decision is always yours, no one else’s. The advice might be right, it may be wrong, no one ever knows for sure, all it is in reality is a flashlight in the dark to help you on your way.
Those three options are eternal and interchangeable. If you think you are charging off into the night and should rather stop in your tracks and stand still for a moment to adjust to the new light then stop in your tracks. Stand for a moment and take a deep breath, breathe, wait, breathe, till you you can see more clearly.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Introspection
Life will always challenge you in order to keep you on your toes so that you don’t stagnate and in turn smell of stale air.
It is very rare that you actually have a real choice whether you go through a traumatic experience or not.
I am stronger than I ever thought I was
My view on both my body and soul is warped in comparison to what others see
Cookies taste great but don’t look good on your thighs or stomach
Creativity is essential to my whole, to my soul and everything that I am.
Looking through a camera at the world opens your eyes far more than without
Take a deep breath before saying anything especially under stress or anger, breathe, breathe, breathe!
That although breathing is good one must do it slowwwwly or run the risk of falling over. Oxygen is important
Some people will beat you up, they can have hate in their eyes, cause you malicious trouble and harm; it only makes you who you are if you allow it to
Attitude is everything
A small drop in the ocean can create a tidal wave
Self tan washes off if you don’t apply it too often
Showering with sunglasses on during summer can recreate dancing in the rain on a beautifully warm night without the risk of birds pooping on your head or in your mouth.
Nature teaches me daily about the world, the way things work and myself
I can’t save the world but I each day I can try make it a better place, if not for everyone then at least for one.
I will never understand the cruelty in the world nor do I want to
The thorns do not make the rose, the soil it is planted in and the strength of its roots do
Some people take their place in the world for granted, they do not care and that this is just the way they are. There are others, many others that do and together they stand fighting for the good.
Standing by your convictions will never be easy but the knowledge that you just stood by is far worse than anything anyone can do to you.
My childhood is nothing compared to millions right this minute
Unconditional love exists and is real, it’s reciprocated and it is all I dreamt it would be
There will only ever be as many stars in the night sky as we allow there to be
I have learnt that … above all else I am eternal student
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Ticking Clocks
How does one cross over into your destiny? I recently wrote about how all of us attend the University of Life, about the chapters in ones life and how they move forward.
How do you step into your destiny?
You go through most of your life believing yourself to be an alien amongst perceived humans, you believe no one understands you, no one thinks or cares as you do. Life is dismal and hopeless till one day you find an iridescent star in the night sky, you find true friendship with unconditional love.
How do you step into your destiny?
Life truly does change within the blink of an eye, one morning you wake up and whoa your life has changed in just one instant second, one millisecond it can turn on its head!
How do you step into your destiny?
You work the winter in order to enjoy the summer fully, you go through ups and downs that bring to your knees. You shed the layer up on layers of self tan, break down the walls of life that once served as protection from all the elements.
How do you step into your destiny?
At times, moments, you wonder if what you are doing, what you are going through, your life is destroying your soul. It breaks you beyond words till one day you start to see the light and realise that your soul is the light, you float.
How do you step into your destiny?
Some days are so rough that it feels as though a weight has been tied to your feet and pulling you to the darkest depths of a turbulent ocean. You fight with all your might to keep your head above water, you kick and you tread the water. You try everything. Then you float.
How do you step into your destiny?
Along you float through the river, at first murky, slowly becoming the River of your Dreams. You dream and yet you don’t, you have faith and believe what will be will be, that everything happens for a reason and will work out. Faith and hope, belief and humour, you carry on no matter what comes your way, no matter what hurdles get flung at you. You carry on.
How do you step into your destiny?
You don’t step into it
You walk into it
You wake up into it
You’re in it
How do you step into your destiny?
You go through most of your life believing yourself to be an alien amongst perceived humans, you believe no one understands you, no one thinks or cares as you do. Life is dismal and hopeless till one day you find an iridescent star in the night sky, you find true friendship with unconditional love.
How do you step into your destiny?
Life truly does change within the blink of an eye, one morning you wake up and whoa your life has changed in just one instant second, one millisecond it can turn on its head!
How do you step into your destiny?
You work the winter in order to enjoy the summer fully, you go through ups and downs that bring to your knees. You shed the layer up on layers of self tan, break down the walls of life that once served as protection from all the elements.
How do you step into your destiny?
At times, moments, you wonder if what you are doing, what you are going through, your life is destroying your soul. It breaks you beyond words till one day you start to see the light and realise that your soul is the light, you float.
How do you step into your destiny?
Some days are so rough that it feels as though a weight has been tied to your feet and pulling you to the darkest depths of a turbulent ocean. You fight with all your might to keep your head above water, you kick and you tread the water. You try everything. Then you float.
How do you step into your destiny?
Along you float through the river, at first murky, slowly becoming the River of your Dreams. You dream and yet you don’t, you have faith and believe what will be will be, that everything happens for a reason and will work out. Faith and hope, belief and humour, you carry on no matter what comes your way, no matter what hurdles get flung at you. You carry on.
You don’t step into it
You walk into it
You wake up into it
You’re in it
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
