Some people are runners and others find their feet glued to the ground much like looking down to see that your feet are embedded in a floor of cement with not even the toes showing.
Those who have their feet solid on the floor often frown upon those that have the impulse to run. They do not understand the reasons behind a runner or what sets off a sprint. Often they will frown upon them and castigate them, laugh and pity them. Often they do not take the time to look at their own lives to see their own legs were once free and sprinting.
I am not beating anyone up here just merely explaining the different impulses as I see them, impulses brought about by more things that just fear.
Fear, an interesting creature often put to blame for the impulse to run, but is it just that? Fear? In my books it comes down to our lives, how we grew up, our self confidence, how many times we have had our hearts broken, how many times our soul has been burnt alive…
There are no short answers as to the whys nor are there any short answers to the solutions, rights or wrongs. Each persons reasons are different to the other, we are each unique and hold a different set of circumstances and life experiences.
If someone gets close to us, gets under our skin, a runners first impulse is to split the scene of the crime and not go back while a huge “Danger Danger” sign flashes in the backs of our minds in neon yellow.
“What if the person under our skin hurts us like the last person, I can’t take another heart and soul beating. I can’t risk breaking again because I might not rise again. I am just going to mess this relationship up again like the last time. I am going to fail. They are going to see me for who I am and not like me anymore. I don’t deserve this. I can’t risk experiencing true happiness in case it gets ripped from under my feet again. No ways. Stop it before it has even started, way easier. Run. Get out. Run. Fast get out quick! RUN!”
If someone is kind to us and shows compassion the same sign flashes once more.
“How long will their kindness last, will they turn into another person like the last? What if I fail them? What are the strings attached, there must be a few evil lurking strings just waiting to break me down again. Don’t trust them, they will just hurt you like the others. Don’t believe for one second that their intentions are good, no ones is, you know this, you’ve seen it over and over and over again. Run. Before they break your heart and your faith in humanity forever more. I won’t get up again if I stay around to see it all fall. Get out. Run. Fast, quick get out! RUN!”
… and so it goes, the impulse to run.
Survival of the fittest, I’ll get out before you get the chance to break me to the point I won’t be able to get up again.
Survival of the weak or of the brave?
Fear disables a persons spirit from experiencing true happiness, beauty in the small moments and life.
Fear is a giant jigsaw puzzle with so many pieces that often it can overwhelm us to even contemplate putting it all together. But, once you start finding the pieces, looking at each different colour, shape, contour and patterns, slowly it starts to fall into place. Piece by piece the puzzle grows unveiling a deeply buried truth hidden in a locked tight chest within our soul.
Putting the pieces together takes a lot of hard work, no quick fix lasts forever. Sometimes it can get so hard that we start to think that to even contemplate continuing our last thread will snap, shatter into millions of pieces. All those puzzle pieces stand like a wall before us, overwhelming us and bringing us to our knees.
If you walk into a gallery you always stand back to take in the whole image that lies before you. Looking at the puzzle we are putting together is much like that picture hanging on the wall in the gallery. In order to see how much progress we have made and are making we have to step back and look at the whole. Take in all that we have found out about ourselves, see the true growth and our stumbling blocks, where the other pieces fall and where the gaps lie.
Putting the puzzle of reasons for our fears, our impulses and our lives together is no simple four by four image. It is the most complex puzzle with contours that put a 3D shape to shame but the end result is one of the most rewarding nourishing things that feed our souls.
Without realising it the pieces that you put into the puzzle turn into the walls that once stood in your way preventing you from doing things, the walls that made a maze out of your heart and blocked true joy from filtering through to your spirit.
Its a hard, scary, sometimes floor crashing journey but more worth it than I could ever put into words. Making the choice to build that puzzle is our individual choice. Each and every single one of us has one to build, whether you do it or not is up to you.
Are you a puzzle builder?
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
In Experience
There is so much talk about experience these days.
In university I even studied theoretically the factors of an experience. I learnt that an experience is created when it exceeds the expectations. Further, the expectations are built up by all previous knowledge/experience. That means, when you are eating an apple that you expect to taste in a certain way and it does, it does not leave an impression on you. If you have “forgotten” how the apple taste like, you can have a similar experience as you have had before, but never the same.
(Well, maybe if you have Alzheimer’s, you can re-discover the same thing over and over again, like a gold fish swimming around in the bowl “hey, look at the castle!” but that is another discussion)
The factors of an experience are many.
- There is the “room” or the setting in which the experience takes place. This can be a restaurant, a beach, a library, an open field. Any “place” really. But the “experience room” always exists. When you are in love the experience room can be the smallest space between you and your loved ones eyes.
- Then there are the objects of your experience. What you focus on. In a positive experience you see positive things. You see the smiles of the children and your glass is always half full. In a negative experience the negative aspects of things are enhanced. You may experience the children’s play as loud and annoying.
- Your condition coming into the “experience room” is crucial. As time is always on going this means, the conditions of one experience affects the next. There are positive or negative circles of events, in which we sometimes let our selves get pulled into. Which is positive if you are in a positive circle, but quite dangerous if you are heading down a negative twirl. Anyhow, you need to be aware of the condition you are in and never blame circumstances or events, because an event is just that, an event.
- The outcome is your perception of these things. Because we are human our experience will always be subjective. Out of the factors, the condition is what has the greatest effect.
Those who have learnt to control their mind set know that an experience is not about the outer condition. Rain is rain on all people, but we are having millions of different experiences of it.
We can not share an experience.
Never judge a person by their appearance. Your judgment about other people, is the truth about your self. That is, your opinions about other people actually says more about yourself. Your previous experience, your insights, your fears...Never look neither up to nor down on people but meet them as equals. You do not know what they are experiencing, and you do not know how you would act in their shoes.
Do not think so much about what other people are experiencing, but be present in your own.
Then you will know, the experience is not in the greatness of your surroundings, but in the greatness of yourself.
In university I even studied theoretically the factors of an experience. I learnt that an experience is created when it exceeds the expectations. Further, the expectations are built up by all previous knowledge/experience. That means, when you are eating an apple that you expect to taste in a certain way and it does, it does not leave an impression on you. If you have “forgotten” how the apple taste like, you can have a similar experience as you have had before, but never the same.
(Well, maybe if you have Alzheimer’s, you can re-discover the same thing over and over again, like a gold fish swimming around in the bowl “hey, look at the castle!” but that is another discussion)
The factors of an experience are many.
- There is the “room” or the setting in which the experience takes place. This can be a restaurant, a beach, a library, an open field. Any “place” really. But the “experience room” always exists. When you are in love the experience room can be the smallest space between you and your loved ones eyes.
- Then there are the objects of your experience. What you focus on. In a positive experience you see positive things. You see the smiles of the children and your glass is always half full. In a negative experience the negative aspects of things are enhanced. You may experience the children’s play as loud and annoying.
- Your condition coming into the “experience room” is crucial. As time is always on going this means, the conditions of one experience affects the next. There are positive or negative circles of events, in which we sometimes let our selves get pulled into. Which is positive if you are in a positive circle, but quite dangerous if you are heading down a negative twirl. Anyhow, you need to be aware of the condition you are in and never blame circumstances or events, because an event is just that, an event.
- The outcome is your perception of these things. Because we are human our experience will always be subjective. Out of the factors, the condition is what has the greatest effect.
Those who have learnt to control their mind set know that an experience is not about the outer condition. Rain is rain on all people, but we are having millions of different experiences of it.
We can not share an experience.
Do not think so much about what other people are experiencing, but be present in your own.
Then you will know, the experience is not in the greatness of your surroundings, but in the greatness of yourself.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Longing
beautiful as the sky is
was
was
maybe I was imagining it all
still
the universe is so hollow
when you let me down
time and time again
Monday, December 15, 2008
Self Awareness Week
I have had a few occasions recently that I have heard people blame their life’s problems on other people. They can’t do this or that because of another person, what they did, or what they are going to do. They use everything as an excuse.
Many people hold on to bitterness gained in their childhood. They blame their parents for everything that has happened in their lives. But really once you are an adult, you can make your own choices. No one is holding you to the behaviors of your parents anymore. I hate it when people excuse their behavior with comments like “I was raised this way” or “I was abused therefore I’m different and allowed to behave badly”.
I know a now 41 year old man who struggles financially, and personally. He blames the state of his finances on his parents. He is forever whining with “Poor ME”! Why, you might ask? His reply is: “They never taught me how to manage money”. This man didn’t have the best parents in the world, but he had everything given to him. He had nice clothes, a nice home, cars bought for him. Yet he still blames his parents for his failings in life? How could that be I wonder? His sisters who grew up in the same household all manage their money and do well financially.
I know another set of siblings who are given every single opportunity in life and more and they keep failing at everything. One of them uses the excuse that she was sick as a child, and can’t cope with life. The other, I’m not exactly sure what his problem is, but he blames his dad anyway. These people are now in their late 20’s and can’t hold jobs, can’t hold partners, and can’t deal with their own lives. How sad is that?
There is a time to deal with it and grow up. Yes, things might not have gone your way in the past, but are you going to let that affect the now and the future? Are you going to let “them” whoever they may be, put you in a place where it ruins your entire life? Haven’t they taken enough from you?
It’s hard to get rid of the “old tapes” that play in one’s mind. Believe me, I have plenty of them myself.
I had it very hard growing up. My father died early on and there was alot of physical and emotional abuse from my mother. But I have taken that energy into making myself better. Learning from mistakes. Being a solid person. That is my choice. I don’t want to relive it as an adult. Each choice that I have made has ensured that I don’t. I don’t want to marry a carbon copy of my father, or become my mother. That idea just depresses me.
We do get to choose. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to get out of the cycle, rut, stagnation of our lives and do better. Attitude is a big part of it. Making conscious positive choices rather than allowing the wave of life wash over you is another.
In the end, the only person you have to blame or congratulate for your life is you.
Many people hold on to bitterness gained in their childhood. They blame their parents for everything that has happened in their lives. But really once you are an adult, you can make your own choices. No one is holding you to the behaviors of your parents anymore. I hate it when people excuse their behavior with comments like “I was raised this way” or “I was abused therefore I’m different and allowed to behave badly”.
I know a now 41 year old man who struggles financially, and personally. He blames the state of his finances on his parents. He is forever whining with “Poor ME”! Why, you might ask? His reply is: “They never taught me how to manage money”. This man didn’t have the best parents in the world, but he had everything given to him. He had nice clothes, a nice home, cars bought for him. Yet he still blames his parents for his failings in life? How could that be I wonder? His sisters who grew up in the same household all manage their money and do well financially.
I know another set of siblings who are given every single opportunity in life and more and they keep failing at everything. One of them uses the excuse that she was sick as a child, and can’t cope with life. The other, I’m not exactly sure what his problem is, but he blames his dad anyway. These people are now in their late 20’s and can’t hold jobs, can’t hold partners, and can’t deal with their own lives. How sad is that?
There is a time to deal with it and grow up. Yes, things might not have gone your way in the past, but are you going to let that affect the now and the future? Are you going to let “them” whoever they may be, put you in a place where it ruins your entire life? Haven’t they taken enough from you?
It’s hard to get rid of the “old tapes” that play in one’s mind. Believe me, I have plenty of them myself.
I had it very hard growing up. My father died early on and there was alot of physical and emotional abuse from my mother. But I have taken that energy into making myself better. Learning from mistakes. Being a solid person. That is my choice. I don’t want to relive it as an adult. Each choice that I have made has ensured that I don’t. I don’t want to marry a carbon copy of my father, or become my mother. That idea just depresses me.
We do get to choose. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to get out of the cycle, rut, stagnation of our lives and do better. Attitude is a big part of it. Making conscious positive choices rather than allowing the wave of life wash over you is another.
In the end, the only person you have to blame or congratulate for your life is you.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Jumping Fences
Today I had a very good reminder of the old saying “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”. The only thing is that it never really is. Despite outward appearances, no one ever has the perfect life.
I was reminded of this today when talking with someone on the phone who doesn’t yet know me well. This person doesn’t know that I am ill, or what my life is really like. To them, I seem like I have it all. Good home, all of the comforts that money buys. I don’t work hard, I don’t have much in the way of responsibility other than to myself. I travel and do alot of exotic things that most people only dream of. At least that is how it looks on the outside.
To her, my life seems so perfect. I have a very green yard looking over the fence at it. Living it however is a whole other challenge. You can’t see from over the fence reality.
I have seen many people envy and be envied for various reasons. Some for their beauty, other for their wealth. But even those things come with a double edged sword. Beauty fades, and one needs to constantly maintain that beauty to hold it for as long as possible. When that is gone, then what? It takes a great deal of discipline, effort and work to maintain beauty. People who have money constantly worry about keeping hold of it. There are always people who want to take it from you, or those who will only like you because of what you have.
I have also see women envy other women for the husbands that they choose. No one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors. He can be the greatest guy in public, but the biggest jerk in private. I know, I was involved with one of those not too long ago. All of the money in the world didn’t make me happy with him. Little did anyone know how verbally abusive he was in private. All the world saw was this successful man with a great fun loving personality.
My friend the Tree looked to be someone to be envied from the outside. Her grass looked oh so green. She and her husband are beautiful physically, wealthy, educated, sophisticated, well travelled, have two absolutely brilliant and beautiful children and a magnificent home. But, it doesn’t show that her husband is a bi-polar, drug abusing, very sick person. You can’t see the hell that he has put her through. So with all of that green grass to look at, her garden is merely spray painted to look that way.
Understand that we all have “crap” to deal with in our lives. No one ever has it perfect. Not that I have seen anyway. There is no such thing as perfection when it comes to life. We all have to take our fair share of drama and unhappiness, and depression. That is simply the way it works. No one ever gets a free ride ticket.
So instead of envying someone else, you might want to put that energy into making your own life as good as you can… right? Wanting what it is you have and being satisfied is a good start….
I was reminded of this today when talking with someone on the phone who doesn’t yet know me well. This person doesn’t know that I am ill, or what my life is really like. To them, I seem like I have it all. Good home, all of the comforts that money buys. I don’t work hard, I don’t have much in the way of responsibility other than to myself. I travel and do alot of exotic things that most people only dream of. At least that is how it looks on the outside.
To her, my life seems so perfect. I have a very green yard looking over the fence at it. Living it however is a whole other challenge. You can’t see from over the fence reality.
I have seen many people envy and be envied for various reasons. Some for their beauty, other for their wealth. But even those things come with a double edged sword. Beauty fades, and one needs to constantly maintain that beauty to hold it for as long as possible. When that is gone, then what? It takes a great deal of discipline, effort and work to maintain beauty. People who have money constantly worry about keeping hold of it. There are always people who want to take it from you, or those who will only like you because of what you have.
I have also see women envy other women for the husbands that they choose. No one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors. He can be the greatest guy in public, but the biggest jerk in private. I know, I was involved with one of those not too long ago. All of the money in the world didn’t make me happy with him. Little did anyone know how verbally abusive he was in private. All the world saw was this successful man with a great fun loving personality.
My friend the Tree looked to be someone to be envied from the outside. Her grass looked oh so green. She and her husband are beautiful physically, wealthy, educated, sophisticated, well travelled, have two absolutely brilliant and beautiful children and a magnificent home. But, it doesn’t show that her husband is a bi-polar, drug abusing, very sick person. You can’t see the hell that he has put her through. So with all of that green grass to look at, her garden is merely spray painted to look that way.
Understand that we all have “crap” to deal with in our lives. No one ever has it perfect. Not that I have seen anyway. There is no such thing as perfection when it comes to life. We all have to take our fair share of drama and unhappiness, and depression. That is simply the way it works. No one ever gets a free ride ticket.
So instead of envying someone else, you might want to put that energy into making your own life as good as you can… right? Wanting what it is you have and being satisfied is a good start….
Friday, December 12, 2008
Perception Of A Childs Eyes
A confused 12 years old not quite feeling right within the body I found myself looking through old eyes at the passing squatter camps. I looked upon the shanty towns, tin shacks, the smell of the morning fires tickling my nose and the flames going up into the dawn air. As I watched it pass sitting in the car on the hour long journey to school after yet another weekend with mothers boyfriend in a far off town. I found myself enveloped in wealth of sadness as tears ran down my cheeks.
What the hell is going on in the world? Why do so many seem to think only of themselves?
Don’t people realise that there are people, kids, humans starving? Don’t people realise that people are homeless, without shelter or blankets? What the hell is going on in this world?
Disease! Wars! Terror! Death!
Don’t people see how much the world needs help? Love? Hope? Doesn’t anyone else feel saddened by what I've seen? Don’t they suffer like I do knowing that there are so many without what I have?
It wasn’t the first time the tears ran down my 12 year old cheeks and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. I could not fathom why people just didn’t seem to care and as I sat there day in and day out I came up with different ways to help the people living in those tin shacks, the people who use open fires to cook their porridge for breakfast, walk miles to just get some cooking water never mind a bath, they don’t know what baths are. I swore to myself that one day I was going to help the people in the world, that I would do all I can and not just sit by like everyone else seemed to.
During the week when we were home I would walk the 5km home with my younger brother in tow and pass homeless children and adults. Each time we passed them I felt the sadness fill my soul once more, I wanted to start helping them but I was scared, what if I did it wrong? What if the bigger people got angry with me?
After a few weeks walking past them I couldn’t take it anymore, I stopped and stood in front of a little girl. I looked at her, she was so tiny, her clothes torn, the sadness within her young eyes broke my courage free. As I bent down to take off my socks the smell of the streets permeated my whole being, she was hungry and cold. Socks in my hand I passed them to her and showed her how to put them on her feet. I will never forget her smile for as long as I live, she seemed to lighten. My used socks were the first gift she had ever received.
My socks made a difference and I decided right then and there that I would carry a pair of clean ones where ever I went from then on. I also decided that I would take some of mothers money and buy chocolates and crisps for the people I passed.
There were times that people passing by such scenes, well dressed and warm, fed and plump. They would tell me to leave the people alone, that I must go home and not worry about them, that it was their choice, that they should just get up and get work. I would look at them with silence, finish what I was doing and only once the people who had stopped had left would I continue home. I was not going to let them win, deep in my heart and soul I knew that they were wrong and it broke my heart.
I learnt a hard lesson every time someone tried to make me stop. I learnt that humans don’t see the world as I do, they don’t understand, they don’t care or try to do something even if its only small. I decided that I was going to continue as I did, that I wasn’t going to stop doing something that felt a part of me. I accepted that people were different and that some were just too busy in their own warm fully fed lives to see, that people felt guilt if they opened their eyes.
I felt strange and odd, I felt a misfit, an alien in the world. People always looking at me funny, telling me that I was different and not normal. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop the intense tight knot of sadness in my stomach. I couldn’t stop the tears that flowed down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop wanting to make a difference but I was going to do it quietly and without witnesses because the others as I now called them put other meanings to what I did.
Many years have passed since that time and the sadness still sits in my stomach like a big volcano. It simmers and bubbles away, overflowing when I watch the news, read a newspaper, see someone in pain or experiencing hard times.
The now is no different than the then except with one huge exception. The me in the present now knows of others that feel and do as I do, of people who cry tears for the world and use their souls to cast light upon the world. There are many of them and I have been blessed to be shown that they exist, better yet these people are my friends whom I hold dear within the walls of my heart.
No act of kindness is too small
No act of love too great
Together we might not be able to solve all the worlds problems, we might not be able to feed every starving soul or clothe them, put them in a warm house or teach them to read.
What stops us?
What the hell is going on in the world? Why do so many seem to think only of themselves?
Don’t people realise that there are people, kids, humans starving? Don’t people realise that people are homeless, without shelter or blankets? What the hell is going on in this world?
Disease! Wars! Terror! Death!
Don’t people see how much the world needs help? Love? Hope? Doesn’t anyone else feel saddened by what I've seen? Don’t they suffer like I do knowing that there are so many without what I have?
It wasn’t the first time the tears ran down my 12 year old cheeks and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. I could not fathom why people just didn’t seem to care and as I sat there day in and day out I came up with different ways to help the people living in those tin shacks, the people who use open fires to cook their porridge for breakfast, walk miles to just get some cooking water never mind a bath, they don’t know what baths are. I swore to myself that one day I was going to help the people in the world, that I would do all I can and not just sit by like everyone else seemed to.
During the week when we were home I would walk the 5km home with my younger brother in tow and pass homeless children and adults. Each time we passed them I felt the sadness fill my soul once more, I wanted to start helping them but I was scared, what if I did it wrong? What if the bigger people got angry with me?
After a few weeks walking past them I couldn’t take it anymore, I stopped and stood in front of a little girl. I looked at her, she was so tiny, her clothes torn, the sadness within her young eyes broke my courage free. As I bent down to take off my socks the smell of the streets permeated my whole being, she was hungry and cold. Socks in my hand I passed them to her and showed her how to put them on her feet. I will never forget her smile for as long as I live, she seemed to lighten. My used socks were the first gift she had ever received.
My socks made a difference and I decided right then and there that I would carry a pair of clean ones where ever I went from then on. I also decided that I would take some of mothers money and buy chocolates and crisps for the people I passed.
There were times that people passing by such scenes, well dressed and warm, fed and plump. They would tell me to leave the people alone, that I must go home and not worry about them, that it was their choice, that they should just get up and get work. I would look at them with silence, finish what I was doing and only once the people who had stopped had left would I continue home. I was not going to let them win, deep in my heart and soul I knew that they were wrong and it broke my heart.
I learnt a hard lesson every time someone tried to make me stop. I learnt that humans don’t see the world as I do, they don’t understand, they don’t care or try to do something even if its only small. I decided that I was going to continue as I did, that I wasn’t going to stop doing something that felt a part of me. I accepted that people were different and that some were just too busy in their own warm fully fed lives to see, that people felt guilt if they opened their eyes.
I felt strange and odd, I felt a misfit, an alien in the world. People always looking at me funny, telling me that I was different and not normal. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop the intense tight knot of sadness in my stomach. I couldn’t stop the tears that flowed down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop wanting to make a difference but I was going to do it quietly and without witnesses because the others as I now called them put other meanings to what I did.
Many years have passed since that time and the sadness still sits in my stomach like a big volcano. It simmers and bubbles away, overflowing when I watch the news, read a newspaper, see someone in pain or experiencing hard times.
The now is no different than the then except with one huge exception. The me in the present now knows of others that feel and do as I do, of people who cry tears for the world and use their souls to cast light upon the world. There are many of them and I have been blessed to be shown that they exist, better yet these people are my friends whom I hold dear within the walls of my heart.
No act of kindness is too small
No act of love too great
Together we might not be able to solve all the worlds problems, we might not be able to feed every starving soul or clothe them, put them in a warm house or teach them to read.
What stops us?
Monday, December 8, 2008
Poverty Breeding Weakness? DUH!
Sometimes I just have to close my eyes and shake my head at the “research” that is carried out. Honestly at times it makes me just wonder who the bright spark was who came up with the idea of the study?
So, they have just unveiled this new study which shows that children who are poverty stricken, who are surrounded by toxic environments, abuse, poor hygiene and diet suffer developmentally. WOW. I mean honestly! What a break through! You guys deserve a medal! Great thinking! As far as I am to understand it, this type of research on this subject has been known since hmmm cavemen time? The better nourished, the stronger the person. The more loved, the happier and more well adjusted. The more successful hunters back in the cavemen times even knew this. Everyone had an “order” to eat just like in the animal kingdom. The weakest of the group get the scraps as their worth to the society is lessened, therefore they don’t ever develop into anything more than they are. Sometimes, they themselves are killed out of need for the rest of the society.
So tell me oh genius ones who do these studies, what was the point here? Was it to study the neuro-development of these children to prevent disease later in life? Or is this it? You are going to leave us with this wonderful, no one ever thought of it piece of documented “evidence” and call it a day? I want to know exactly how much money was spent on this wonder? I bet it was a load.
Understanding medicine, our bodies is indeed a nobel task for those who research tirelessly. But it is hardly newsworthy when the studies are reported like this. I mean we all do understand this one pretty much down the line do we not? Is it the intricacies here that the study was trying to establish of exactly how it affects function? I read the study, and that was well… unclear.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-12-07-childrens-brains_N.htm?csp=34
So, they have just unveiled this new study which shows that children who are poverty stricken, who are surrounded by toxic environments, abuse, poor hygiene and diet suffer developmentally. WOW. I mean honestly! What a break through! You guys deserve a medal! Great thinking! As far as I am to understand it, this type of research on this subject has been known since hmmm cavemen time? The better nourished, the stronger the person. The more loved, the happier and more well adjusted. The more successful hunters back in the cavemen times even knew this. Everyone had an “order” to eat just like in the animal kingdom. The weakest of the group get the scraps as their worth to the society is lessened, therefore they don’t ever develop into anything more than they are. Sometimes, they themselves are killed out of need for the rest of the society.
So tell me oh genius ones who do these studies, what was the point here? Was it to study the neuro-development of these children to prevent disease later in life? Or is this it? You are going to leave us with this wonderful, no one ever thought of it piece of documented “evidence” and call it a day? I want to know exactly how much money was spent on this wonder? I bet it was a load.
Understanding medicine, our bodies is indeed a nobel task for those who research tirelessly. But it is hardly newsworthy when the studies are reported like this. I mean we all do understand this one pretty much down the line do we not? Is it the intricacies here that the study was trying to establish of exactly how it affects function? I read the study, and that was well… unclear.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-12-07-childrens-brains_N.htm?csp=34
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Warmth In Cold
I don’t know about you, but I suffer from the Winterassgrowth disease, yip you know the one where you get all cosy, eat more, less exercise and just be, that one. Much like a squirrel storing its supplies for hibernation our bodies tend to hit this mode, anything we eat it keeps some back in “supplies” to keep our bodies warm.
So if you are like me then ten to one you don’t tend to work out or exercise as hard during winter as you would in summer. First hint of summer and we go “oh bleep” and start a mad rush to get in shape so that we can fit back into our summer clothes. Pure incredible madness.
In emotions it is much the same. During the winter, sad, depressing, rough times in our lives we tend to bury ourselves much like that squirrel in hope of sunshine. We build our defences, erect our walls, turn people away and run from our problems in hope that they would just disappear in our melancholy. We spend our time coping, surviving and keeping warm, not working out our emotional muscles, learning from the experience and breathing. We stop breathing.
Both you and I know our problems never just go away, if we don’t deal with our pasts, our issues or learn the lessons that need to be learnt they come back to bite us on our asses. We both know that they bite hard when they do and ten to one it's during a glorious summer. Because we never faced what we needed to, because we ran away instead of facing everything head on our summer days are shortened and tarnished with winter rains.
What if while going through a really rough time we hold on tight, we hang in there, we face the things that come our way and we breathe…
So if you are like me then ten to one you don’t tend to work out or exercise as hard during winter as you would in summer. First hint of summer and we go “oh bleep” and start a mad rush to get in shape so that we can fit back into our summer clothes. Pure incredible madness.
In emotions it is much the same. During the winter, sad, depressing, rough times in our lives we tend to bury ourselves much like that squirrel in hope of sunshine. We build our defences, erect our walls, turn people away and run from our problems in hope that they would just disappear in our melancholy. We spend our time coping, surviving and keeping warm, not working out our emotional muscles, learning from the experience and breathing. We stop breathing.
Both you and I know our problems never just go away, if we don’t deal with our pasts, our issues or learn the lessons that need to be learnt they come back to bite us on our asses. We both know that they bite hard when they do and ten to one it's during a glorious summer. Because we never faced what we needed to, because we ran away instead of facing everything head on our summer days are shortened and tarnished with winter rains.
What if while going through a really rough time we hold on tight, we hang in there, we face the things that come our way and we breathe…
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Foot Over Mouth
The noose of those in our lives that strangle the very life force from both your soul and your bones. In life you get the drainers or if you will chokers, they are the ones that want to control you, break your spirit down until it is mere shards lying scattered upon the ground. They take pleasure tightening the noose around your neck, inch by inch, sometimes slowly, sometimes with a huge jerk and pull, your oxygen dissipates.
I’ve had a noose around my head for as long as I’ve been able to take a breath of air and at times it was so tight that I could barely move let alone walk. People tend to throw guilt trips around like mothers would throw candy. At times it was just there, hanging loosely, waiting for the next tug, the next moment of strangulation.
The driving force behind these peoples actions, for them putting the noose around our necks, is many but in my case it is the need. Pure need. The need to have control over something uncontrollable, the need for love, understanding, insecurity and the need to ward off loneliness, to feel worth while and happy. They put the onus on you for all things for which they can not find within themselves, they depend on you to the extent that if you set a toe over the border to your wants and your needs they try to reign you in.
It’s a constant battle of push-pull and what makes it worse is when the relationship with the noose is such that it makes it not so easy to just cut the rope from their hands and set yourself free.
The only way I can get rid of this noose is to don some high heels. High heels in life are those that lift you up, strengthen your spirit without draining your life force. Instead these people energize you and help you reach new heights.
Problem though is that once you start taking the noose off, cutting those ties, a tug of war ensues pulling you off balance (try walking in high heels for the first time and you will know what I talk of). The noose suddenly feels the slack in the rope and quickly grabs it with all force and tries their damndest to gain control once more. If you learn how to walk in those heels quick enough, strengthen your leg muscles and breathe it is possible to regain the balance. Difficult as it may seem, it is possible to learn how to walk.
Over the last year I’ve gained a few pairs of these high heels and they have helped stave off the power of the noose around my neck. I’ve had to relearn how to walk without the weight of the rope pulling my airways through. I’ve had to learn how to breathe again and to exercise my vocal and spiritual lungs. The noose didn’t like this much, not at all.
A thank-you to my friends
I’ve had a noose around my head for as long as I’ve been able to take a breath of air and at times it was so tight that I could barely move let alone walk. People tend to throw guilt trips around like mothers would throw candy. At times it was just there, hanging loosely, waiting for the next tug, the next moment of strangulation.
The driving force behind these peoples actions, for them putting the noose around our necks, is many but in my case it is the need. Pure need. The need to have control over something uncontrollable, the need for love, understanding, insecurity and the need to ward off loneliness, to feel worth while and happy. They put the onus on you for all things for which they can not find within themselves, they depend on you to the extent that if you set a toe over the border to your wants and your needs they try to reign you in.
It’s a constant battle of push-pull and what makes it worse is when the relationship with the noose is such that it makes it not so easy to just cut the rope from their hands and set yourself free.
The only way I can get rid of this noose is to don some high heels. High heels in life are those that lift you up, strengthen your spirit without draining your life force. Instead these people energize you and help you reach new heights.
Problem though is that once you start taking the noose off, cutting those ties, a tug of war ensues pulling you off balance (try walking in high heels for the first time and you will know what I talk of). The noose suddenly feels the slack in the rope and quickly grabs it with all force and tries their damndest to gain control once more. If you learn how to walk in those heels quick enough, strengthen your leg muscles and breathe it is possible to regain the balance. Difficult as it may seem, it is possible to learn how to walk.
Over the last year I’ve gained a few pairs of these high heels and they have helped stave off the power of the noose around my neck. I’ve had to relearn how to walk without the weight of the rope pulling my airways through. I’ve had to learn how to breathe again and to exercise my vocal and spiritual lungs. The noose didn’t like this much, not at all.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Dust Of The Earth
" With a passion for ideas, a mind for philosophy, and a heart for the aesthetics of truth, it wasn’t long before Rebecca found her niche in the art of documentary. She discovered that film making is a process of transformation and that it is important not only to affect the audience, but the people involved in the production of the film itself. Rebecca hopes to create films that inspire people to be better than they are, to consider things that don't normally enter into their cognitive sphere, and to approach life as an open debate full of ideas, controversy and respect. " - indiepixfilms.com
Blinkx Video: Rebecca Rose - Dust Of The Earth
Just a bit of even older work.. 2005... Comment away.
Blinkx Video: Rebecca Rose - Dust Of The Earth
Just a bit of even older work.. 2005... Comment away.
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