November Bray

late november
still no snow

mr winter is waiting
on the subway
like everyone else
for a second there
you almost had me fooled

I belong to nobody
and nobody is always around me
playing with my laughter
making me smile
because it’s all so silly

life is too easy
let’s complicate it
to make it smaller
the secret is out
but you are not listening

my warm sweater
matches my heart
and my blood red nails polish
brings colors to life

it’s been a crazy year

winter waits for nobody
it’s all around me

Certainty For The Passing Skies

You know, even if I don't write in a public journal, I always write. For no reason at all I'm debating on posting them, atleast some of them. Most who read my journal get the impression I leave my inner most thoughts here . . .

_{I really wish that were the case.}

- Update

It's Nov 30th and I've gotten midway through June... Tedious tasks tend to take me forever. Forgive me.

Compassion For The Masses

I've changed, I've evolved, and I've gotten myself stuck in a situation that I'm not sure how to do the thing I'm best at- run.

If a person stays in an unhappy relationship are they wasting each other’s time to move forward in life? If person cannot truly be themselves around the person they are with, then what is the point of being with them in all reality? It also stops a person from becoming the person truly are meant to be... A happy relationship leads to a happy life since it all works together. Or so I keep telling myself...

Then I've to ask myself if a happy relationship is even able to exist. People's social behaviours change as often as the wind, thus how do you ever know what you have will last beyond this passing breeze?

I want moments in life to mean something more than just another day. I want a kiss to mean more than just a kiss.

I am simple girl that I am not the type that needs all of his attention every single minute of the day. It is those simple things that get to my heart the most like cooking dinner, flowers, watching a movie at home, a smile with a hug or a simple note with saying he wants me. Getting to my heart is very simple with kindness and compassion.

The heart says so many feelings that cannot be explained. It feels so strong at moments feels so right at other times can feel so wrong. I think the egyptians were correct, it's stronger than we think it is. It does what it wants at times really have no control over it. The heart has mind of its own in so many ways. That cannot be explained with a word but felt with a feeling.

I'm not sure if I'm justified in my worries, each passing moment I think I grow to resent a little more for serveral different reasons. I do my best not to step on toes or tread water, not like some people, for I am not careless. Is it too much to ask for someone who holds emotion in the same regaurd?

_{When he resembles the man I got involved with, I am madly in love with him
I've always been attracted to him
I liked the humble loyal man he was, the cocky guy who I cant trust is a stranger to me}