As I watch the mice try to find the cheese at the end of the maze, I can't help but to laugh; I see them all scurry aimlessly from a vantage point somewhere above it all. I have missed the drama of our collective youths, it seems, but only for the plebeian amusement it provides me to watch it all go by.
Realise that these things do not revolve around you - I take no satisfaction in your discomfiture. Truth be told, I don't even really care. It is only now that your reaction is of any consequence, only now that I can watch you dart about within the labyrinth of your own device and never, ever reach the prize.
If you had ever bothered to exhibit even the cheapest modicum of civility, perhaps I would have done the same, told you a bit of what you wanted to hear and eased your mind with the gossamer wisps of kind words. It is likely the skeletons could have remained interred, never to see the light of day or reach the narrow gaze of ignorant eyes.
But no, this was not to be.
If purple sunsets are to be followed by night skies, I can do nothing other than resign myself to this period of darkness. I know that the dawn will emerge; in time I will be bathed in the warm sunlight again. If there is an imminent end, it is a necessary progression; all that lives must die, all that exists must cease, if only to be reborn again. And when you left, I did not follow.
If you feel that I have wronged you, I will not plead my case. If you believe what you have inferred from casual statements and ill-conceived words above all of what you know about me, I have no defense. If this is what you wish - this misgiving, this misunderstanding - you may have it. And when you left, I did not follow.
If you love an external ideal that cannot possibly exist, instead of the star that you are, and have always been, I do not feel compelled to apologize. If you allow a single event, either real or perceived, to shake your confidence, or breed diffidence within you, I cannot be held culpable. If you find that you have given me too much power over you, power that I do not deserve or desire, please take it back. And when you left, I did not follow.
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1 comment:
as beautiful as this was i have to say you have to get over it girl you are doing much better now he was a lost cause and damaged goods we all know what kind of person you are and thats something to be proud of you were there in the times of need unconditionaly and thats what counts love you sweetie see you at the club!
xoxox Amber
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